Day 19

This last week started out pretty crazy to say the least.  We seriously thought we were going to have a baby last Monday.  I woke up at 6am with contractions that got progressively worse, to the point where I was in tears and they were coming two minutes apart.  I ended up getting three shots of terbutaline that really only slowed them but didn't stop them, so by 12:30 they were transferring me to labor and delivery to go on a magnesium drip.  Let me just say that I do not recommend these.  I know it was necessary, but it has the MOST miserable side effects!  They did a 24 hour drip, so I pretty much felt like I had a serious case of the flu during those 24 hours.  I had hot flashes, my whole body ached, and no energy to the point where I couldn't even lift my water bottle to take a drink.  I think that is the  most sick I've ever been in my entire life.

So that lasted until 2pm Tuesday, and what is amazing is that as soon as they turned off the magnesium, I felt almost back to normal within an hour!  It was crazy how fast it wore off.  The whole goal of the mag drip is to "wash" my system out so that the contractions will slow down and so that I will respond better to the terbutaline after,?l because the body can build up a tolerance to where that isn't as effective.

The next few days were pretty quiet, just an occasional terb shot, but then Saturday things picked up again and I had to go back on the mag drip.  For 30 hours this time.  It was terrible.  I really, really hope and pray that I don't have to do that again, because I honestly don't know if I have it in me to endure another round.  It is so taxing physically and emotionally.

Despite all the crazy contractions, the great news is that my cervix has held pretty steady throughout the whole ordeal.  It's at 1.6cm as of this morning, and the baby's estimated weight is 4lb 14oz, so he is a really good size for how far along I am.  That is so reassuring to me, that if he were to come early, that he already has a little head start on weight!  The doctor said this morning that if the cervix
continues to be stable, that she will let me go home at 34 weeks.  Still on bedrest, but at least I would  be in my own place, getting to eat my own food, hanging out with my dogs, sleeping in my own bed  and not getting woken up for meds all hours of the night!

So that's where we are. Potentially only 8-9 more days of this, unless the little guy decides to make an
 appearance :) I'll update again soon - wifi is pretty wonky at the hospital so that's been part of the
delay in posts.  Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement - it definitely helps!

Day 6

We're starting to get settled in to the hospital life routine.  I honestly can't complain about anything - I've received excellent care and every person that I've met here has been just wonderful. Antepartum is a different world than the regular floor - they pretty much just leave me alone unless I need them for anything.  The contractions are continuing, and today my doctor changed the parameters for getting a shot.  The on call doctor this weekend had ordered that if I have 8 contractions in an hour that I should get one, but my regular OB said 4 in an hour whether they see it on the monitor or not that I need a shot.  My cervix is continuing to shorten - yesterday it was down to 1.5cm, so we don't really have a lot of wiggle room to just contract all day.  So this morning I got a shot at 11:30 and that helped - things have been pretty quiet since then.  (ha - as I type that, I just had two contractions in seven minutes. We'll see how that goes!)

I am thankful to be where we are, thankful that our little one is staying put for now.  I am 31 weeks tomorrow, and our main goal is to make it to 34 weeks.  Any time past that will be icing on the cake.  Please also pray for my friend Jennifer who has gone into preterm labor with her twin boys at 27 weeks.  She needs it more than I do right now.  

Baylor Summer Vacay

Since no one really wants to talk about their cervix directly on facebook, I figured I'd leave all the fun details to the ole' blog.  I'll start with yesterday afternoon.

I started having pretty regular contractions at work yesterday around 1:45 (this was after only doing deskwork), which continued to get more intense and closer together, so I laid down on one of the stretchers to see if that would help.  They were soon 3-5 minutes apart, and at 3:45 my very sweet friend Mindy drove me up to the hospital and my mom met me there.  Seth arrived soon after.

Sure enough, it wasn't all in my head and those contractions were the real deal!  I was given a shot of terbutaline to slow them down (which has the not-so-fun side effects of anxiety, feeling jittery, and feeling like your heart is going to beat out of your chest), and also a shot of steroid to help the baby's lungs develop should anything happen.  Overnight they just monitored me and gave me extra IV fluids, and this morning I required another shot to slow contractions.  The specialist arrived about 9ish and did a sonogram to check the length of my cervix. (backtrack to Tuesday....my regular OB was concerned that the cervix was a little on the short side at 2.7cm.  She wanted it above 3).  So when he checked it today, it had shortened even more to 2.2cm.  Without a second breath, he said I will be in the hospital on bedrest for at least 2-4 weeks.  Closer to the 4 week mark being more realistic.  And possibly longer.  He wants me to be 36 weeks before he is comfortable with me delivering.

Soooo, yeah.  It's a bit of a shocker.

They will check the length again on Monday, and I'm not sure how frequently after that.  But I'm on another oral med every six hours to relax my uterus (and have a beet red, burning hot face because of that one).

I know I'm exactly where I need to be right now to keep my baby safe, and I know that God is absolutely in control, it's just not how anyone dreams of spending their first pregnancy.  I was looking forward to baby showers, and maternity pictures, and putting the finishing touches on the nursery.  And taking my maternity leave after he's born, not before.  I won't get to see my puppies for who knows how long, and those who really know me know that the beagle and I are a little codependent.  So I'm a little sad to be honest.  But at the same time, thankful to have such a supportive husband and family to help me through this.

30 weeks!

30 weeks today!  I seriously cannot believe it's gone by so quickly...we are on the downhill slope now, and I can't wait to meet our sweet little boy.  We have been very productive since my last post!  Finally finished the laundry room, which funny enough was one of the first things I wanted to change when we bought our house, but we kind of ran out of motivation after renovating all the other rooms!  It was just a facelift really - fresh paint, new shelves, and some much needed additional storage, but it has already made life so much easier.  As far as the nursery goes, we still need to put the crib together (seriously need to get a move on that!!), take the glider to be reupholstered, hang curtains, and finish off the little decorative touches.  It's all things that can be done in a weekend, just need to actually commit a weekend to it. :)

For the most part I have been feeling good - still have a decent amount of energy, but I have been getting Braxton Hicks contractions on an increasing level.  They started at around 26 weeks, and I ended up seeing my doctor for them at 27 weeks.  Everything checked out ok at that visit, but since then they've only gotten worse.  It all seems to be related to activity (not even strenuous activity - I haven't exercised at all this pregnancy), with the majority of them occurring on busy days at work. Yesterday was my 30 week check up, and my doctor did another full exam and sono this time, and discovered that I am starting to show some shortening and thinning of the cervix.  She did a test that is a good indicator of preterm labor, and I should have those results back today or tomorrow, but for now she has restricted my activity - not to the point of bedrest, but to take it as easy as possible.  I'm really hoping and praying that I don't have to go on bedrest!!  I will do whatever it takes for this little guy to arrive here safe and sound though, and preferably not until October!  I have a follow up this Monday to check things again.  The good news is that the baby is healthy and active, but please be praying for me that this all slows down.  I'll keep you all posted on the results!

Halfway there!

It seems so surreal to say that.  After all the years of trying and praying, to know that in 4 1/2 months we will have a baby in our arms is incredible.  Even now, after seeing him several times on the sonograms and having felt him move inside me, I still don't quite believe it.

I know it's been a while since I've posted, but it felt like we just kept having issues come up and I was tired of talking about it honestly.  I wanted to wait until I felt like we had a better handle on what the situation was, and also to just feel a little more secure in the safety of this pregnancy.  All in all, I've had two weekend ER visits, one emergency doctor visit, and two visits to a perinatologist.  I am so thankful to the Lord to say that I haven't had any bleeding in four weeks now, which has been the longest stretch so far without an issue!  The doctors were concerned about a short cervix and a low-lying placenta, in addition to the hematoma, but everything seems to be normalizing at this point.  We had our 20 week sonogram today, and the little guy is doing just great!  I have another visit with the specialist next week, and I am hopeful that he will release me at that point.

So now it's time to finish getting ready!  The nursery is about halfway done, but we still have to organize all of our closets to make room for all the junk.  And clean out the garage, and I want to redo the laundry room, and the master bedroom, and fix the fence and plant a new flower bed, and try to squeeze in a weekend getaway.....is this list seeming long to anyone else??  :)  We better get started!

So much for boring....

Apparently an uneventful pregnancy is not meant for us.  Last Tuesday I had my first OB appointment and was all prepared to share how nice it is to go to a "normal" doctor's visit, one that is only happy with no worry involved.  Which I'll still elaborate on that in a little bit, but before I had a chance to blog, Friday night we ended up in the ER! 

I got home from work Friday about 5:30 and shortly after began bleeding again.  But this time it was A LOT.  Super scary to say the least, so I immediately called the doctor and spoke with the on-call nurse who told me to go straight to the ER.  Seth had to leave work early to come pick up, and we made our way to Baylor Grapevine.  I was trying to reassure myself that the doctor told me to expect to bleed again, but the amount this time is really what made me nervous.  Fortunately the ER was slow that evening, and we were seen right away by the doctor then straight to an ultrasound.  The sonographer prefaced the exam by saying she wasn't allowed to give results, but once the baby showed up on screen, she pointed at it and gave me the thumbs up.  Heart rate was strong at 177, and we were soooo relieved to see that little flash of the beat.  From there, I had another exam and then the doctor just said she had to review the sono results and we'd be on our way.  Both our parents were there, and my in-law's pastor stopped by for a few minutes to pray for me.  It was so thoughtful and meant so much to me.  While we were waiting, I got a Rhogam shot, and every so often they'd come in to tell me they were still waiting for the sono to be read by the radiologist.  FOUR HOURS LATER, the doctor came in with the results - apparently our sono got lost in transmission, like a glitch in the computer system or something - so that's what took so long.  She basically just reiterated what we already knew:  the bleeding was caused by the hematoma, take it easy, it should all be ok since the heartbeat is so strong. 

We finally left about 12:30am, exhausted and starving.  My sweet parents stayed the whole time with us, even though I kept telling them to go home and sleep!  I've been resting since then, and thankfully my work is closed for construction until next Wednesday, so I'll have plenty of time to relax. 

Now back to the happy stuff!  I called my OB this morning, and they wanted me to come in right away for the follow-up sonogram.  Since Seth was already at work, my mom went with me, and I'm so glad she did.  It was sweet to get to see her reaction to the sonogram - we heard the heartbeat again, could visualize the spine and the arm and leg buds (the sonographer said the baby looked like a teddy graham, which was a perfect description!), and we even got to see the baby move!  He (or she) just did a little wiggle right there!  It was so adorable.  I love all these images I'm getting so early on - only 8 1/2 weeks along and I've already had four sonos :) The nurse practitioner again told me just to rest as much as possible, but that these hematomas really don't have an effect on the outcome of the pregnancy.  Oh, I forgot to mention, the hematoma was smaller today than it was last week!  Praise the Lord!  Hopefully it just continues to shrink without causing anymore freak-out sessions :)

That's about it for now (which I think is quite enough for one week's time).  I have another appointment in three weeks, so here's hoping nothing happens between now and then!

First sonogram

Disclaimer :  this post gets a little graphic (not too bad - really just a warning for the guys!)

The past few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions.  It began Friday night, when around 7 o'clock I had some lower abdominal cramping that really concerned me.  Seth tried to reassure me it was nothing, but I knew it did not feel right.  Then about 9:30 when I went to use the restroom, I discovered that I was bleeding.  Not a whole lot, but it was red and that terrified me.  Poor Seth had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up to the sounds of me sobbing from the bathroom.  I just knew I was having a miscarriage, and all I could think was that I cannot handle this!!  After all we've been through, I do not have any strength left to endure that.  I immediately called the doctor, who advised me to increase my progesterone dosage (yes, the daily shots continue!), drink lots of fluids and rest as much as possible.  He told me to try not to worry - which, by the way, is IMPOSSIBLE - but to go to the ER if anymore bleeding occurred.  My sono was scheduled for Tuesday, so he said we just need to make it till then. 

Needless to say, I was a complete emotional wreck the next three days.  I have never been so worried in my entire life.  No amount of encouraging words or similar anecdotes could console me - I knew I would not feel better until the sonogram, and I also knew I couldn't wait until Tuesday for it.  Thankfully, I didn't have anymore incidences over the weekend, and first thing Monday morning I called the clinic to get me in that day.

During the sonogram, we discovered we have one healthy baby all snuggled in.  The heartbeat was strong at 125 (at six weeks they want it to be above 80 - I was 6wks 4days at that visit).  It was such a relief to see that heartbeat!!  I thought tears would come at that point, but they didn't - I think I was just in shock that it was all ok.  The sonographer also discovered that I have a subchorionic hematoma, which is what caused the bleeding Friday night.  This comes with increased risk, but usually it is not a problem and heals by first trimester end.  I do have to be extra cautious though - absolutely no lifting, no strenuous activity whatsoever, and rest as much as possible.   So the couch times continue!  

After the sonogram, when Seth and I were alone in a room waiting for the doctor, is when I broke down.  All the stress of the weekend came out at once, and I just sobbed.  Tears of joy, relief, worry, of every possible emotion really, just poured out.  I am glad that we had that little bit of time before the doctor came in.  When he did finally walk in, the first thing he said was that I scared him Friday night!  We laughed then and agreed that it was a terrifying experience.  He congratulated us, we thanked him for not giving up on us when things were looking grim, and then he admitted that he got a lot of heat from the partners in his practice for not canceling my IVF cycle.  But then he held up my chart and said "We did it!!" 

The whole situation still feels surreal - it's still weird to say that I'm pregnant - it still kind of hurts to talk about the baby, like it doesn't feel safe yet - even though the nausea is REALLY starting to kick in.  (That's not a fun thing at all, but I am thankful for it!)  I have graduated from the specialist and have my first OB appointment next week.  April 4 will be 12 weeks, so now we just have to make it till then.  Baby steps to second trimester!