So I figure, since Rowan will be 8 weeks on Thursday (gosh, I can't believe that!), its about time that I share his birth story. Although this is not an event I am likely to forget, I want to have it written down so the memories stay fresh.
My last post was on my 40th week, on my due date, jokingly complaining that I was still pregnant. Little did I know that things would take an incredible turn that evening! My brother and sister-in-law were over for dinner that night, and I started getting contractions while they were there. By 9:30pm they were becoming regular and a little stronger, but I had gone through this same thing so many times, I decided to see if I could go to sleep. Sleep never truly came - the contractions continued, growing stronger, and at 1:11am I felt something that I had never felt before! I woke up Seth, probably scared him half to death, saying we have to get to the hospital NOW! We rushed around, throwing last minute items into our hospital bag, and were on our way by 1:30. That was the longest car ride of my life! We only live 10-12 minutes away from the hospital, but it seemed to take forever! The pain was becoming increasingly more intense - it felt like my abdomen was going to split open. I knew from an OB visit the day before that I was already at 5cm dilated, so the whole ride I kept saying, "We should have left sooner. I'm going to be too late for an epidural!"
Finally we arrived and rushed up to the labor and delivery unit. I was so relieved to see a nurse that I knew and liked from my previous hospital stay. She was wonderful, got my IV started quickly and labs drawn, verified that I was still at 5cm, but then it took soooo long (or it seemed like to me) to get the results back from the lab so that I could have an epidural. It's funny, I was totally on the fence my whole pregnancy about whether or not to have an epidural, but the moment I felt those contractions, my mind was made up! I would not do it otherwise :) I was pacing around, leaning over the bed, but the contractions were every two minutes, leaving no time for any recovery in between. My parents popped their heads in the door in the middle of one, and I remember telling them "You probably don't want to be in here right now - I'm not being a very nice person." Ha! The whole time I just kept saying, "we waited too long! we should have come sooner!" Poor Seth, he was so sweet, but just had a look of "I have absolutely no idea how to help to you right now" on his face. When the anesthesiologist arrived, I was again relieved to see a familiar face - a doctor that I knew had years of experience and is excellent at what he does. And then it was suddenly all better - I'm telling you people, once the epidural took effect, it was an entirely different world.
That was at about 3:15am or so. The nurse finally had a chance to check me again, and found that I was 8 cm dilated! I couldn't believe that I had advance that much so quickly! We felt like I would deliver before her shift was over, but then the contractions slowed down. My parents and Seth's parents were able to come in and visit, and my precious aunt and uncle came as well in the middle of the night to see me! I felt so loved. Since things had slowed, the nurse advised that I try to take a nap while I had the chance. It was smart advice! Seth and I were able to catch about an hour of sleep before the morning shift change happened. I was a little sad that my nurse wasn't the one to be in on the delivery, but she was so sweet and gave me a hug and promised to see the baby when she was back the next night. My day nurses were fabulous as well though - I really couldn't have asked for a better team to assist me through labor.
At the next check, I was 9 1/2 cm dilated. My OB arrived around 8:30am, and said I would be ready to push soon! In the middle of her visit, she got a call from her 12 year old son saying he left his homework at home. I felt great, we figured she had enough time to run home, so she was like, don't push till I get back! I thought it was pretty funny! While she was gone, Seth and I had a moment to ourselves to just talk and pray. It was a beautiful time that I will always remember and cherish - our last minutes alone as a family of two. She returned soon, and at 9:30am she broke my water and I started pushing. The whole experience was pretty amazing. I am still in awe of how smoothly things went and at how peaceful the feeling was in the room. Seth played relaxing music for me that brought back memories of our trip to Tennesssee (Local Natives, Minus the Bear's latest acoustic album, Grizzly Bear, Death Cab for Cutie - I'm telling you, no kid was born to better music than Rowan), and he was the best coach ever. He compared the whole experience to cycling, and with each contraction and push we were going uphill, or sprinting to the finish. It wasn't obnoxious at all, but was just what I needed to visualize to keep me going. My incredible sister was also in the room, taking pictures for us, and I am so thankful she was there too.
I ended up pushing for about four hours. At one point when contractions had lagged, they had to give me a small dose of Pitocin, but things picked right back up after that. Rowan came at 1:17pm. I had been calm up to that point, but when the doctor said his head was out, I immediately started crying, and then when he let out a little cry, it was the best sound I'd ever heard. They put him on my chest, and tears were just streaming down my face. My son had arrived. The baby I had prayed for, begged God for, for all those years, was finally here. I can't even describe the overwhelming emotions I had in that moment. After he was all cleaned up and everything was settled, Seth and I had an hour to ourselves with Rowan. He was so calm and peaceful, just laying on my chest. We were both crying, praying, thanking God for this enormous blessing.
I am so thankful for the whole experience. It was incredibly beautiful, I felt great the whole time - just laughing and chatting between contractions. We had asked God for an atmosphere of peace and that is exactly what He gave us. I felt safe and well looked after, and knew that Rowan was in the best environment for whatever care he might need - it was the perfect labor experience and I wouldn't change a thing.
So that's that. Rowan's story is complete. I think this will be my last post to this blog - it's served its purpose, and it's time to move on. This journey over the last four years has been the hardest challenge I've ever faced, heart wrenching at times, but so worth the battle. Miracles happen people. Rowan is living proof of that. We were told by one doctor that our odds were too slim to take the chance, and our second doctor advised us to cancel the IVF cycle three times during the time I was doing injections. THREE TIMES. But each time we prayed and asked God to get us to the next step, and each time He gave us EXACTLY what we had prayed for, exactly the requirements the doctor gave us in order to continue to the cycle. So don't give up. I'm so glad we didn't.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
40 weeks
Today is my due date. October 16. 40 weeks, 5 cm dilated, and still pregnant. You can come anytime now little guy!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
38 weeks. Feeling thankful.
After all that we've been through, it looks like now our little one is content to stay put, which honestly is perfectly fine with me. As someone said recently, making it to full term is a blessing, and I completely agree! I've joked for the last couple weeks about how I'm ready for him to come anytime now, but the truth is the longer he is in, the stronger he gets, and I'm so happy he's stayed in. Today I am just feeling over-the-top thankful for the last nine months. I pray that we will have future pregnancies, but it's a very real possibility that this could be the only time I carry a child, and words are inadequate to explain the depth of my gratitude for our God's faithfulness. I have loved every minute of being pregnant, even all the uncomfortable side effects and medical issues we've dealt with are miniscule when I consider the magnitude of the miracle inside me. Feeling my child kick and roll around in my belly brings me indescribable joy. I know I will miss that sensation when he comes, so for now I am cherishing the last few days left before his birth. Because of this extra time we've been granted, we were able to have a baby shower this past weekend, and Seth and I were both completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and generosity from our family and friends. The support and encouragement we've received throughout this journey has kept us going through the difficult times, so for that I say thank you.
I'm looking forward to my next post being a birth announcement!
Isaiah 54
New King James Version (NKJV)
A Perpetual Covenant of Peace
54 “Sing, O barren,
You who have not borne!
Break forth into singing, and cry aloud,
You who have not labored with child!
For more are the children of the desolate
Than the children of the married woman,” says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings;
Do not spare;
Lengthen your cords,
And strengthen your stakes.
3 For you shall expand to the right and to the left,
And your descendants will inherit the nations,
And make the desolate cities inhabited.
You who have not borne!
Break forth into singing, and cry aloud,
You who have not labored with child!
For more are the children of the desolate
Than the children of the married woman,” says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings;
Do not spare;
Lengthen your cords,
And strengthen your stakes.
3 For you shall expand to the right and to the left,
And your descendants will inherit the nations,
And make the desolate cities inhabited.
4 “Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed;
Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame;
For you will forget the shame of your youth,
And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
5 For your Maker is your husband,
The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.
6 For the Lord has called you
Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Like a youthful wife when you were refused,”
Says your God.
7 “For a mere moment I have forsaken you,
But with great mercies I will gather you.
8 With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,”
Says the Lord, your Redeemer.
Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame;
For you will forget the shame of your youth,
And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
5 For your Maker is your husband,
The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.
6 For the Lord has called you
Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Like a youthful wife when you were refused,”
Says your God.
7 “For a mere moment I have forsaken you,
But with great mercies I will gather you.
8 With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,”
Says the Lord, your Redeemer.
9 “For this is like the waters of Noah to Me;
For as I have sworn
That the waters of Noah would no longer cover the earth,
So have I sworn
That I would not be angry with you, nor rebuke you.
10 For the mountains shall depart
And the hills be removed,
But My kindness shall not depart from you,
Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,”
Says the Lord, who has mercy on you.
For as I have sworn
That the waters of Noah would no longer cover the earth,
So have I sworn
That I would not be angry with you, nor rebuke you.
10 For the mountains shall depart
And the hills be removed,
But My kindness shall not depart from you,
Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,”
Says the Lord, who has mercy on you.
11 “O you afflicted one,
Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.
12 I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
Your gates of crystal,
And all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
And great shall be the peace of your children.
14 In righteousness you shall be established;
You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
And from terror, for it shall not come near you.
15 Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not because of Me.
Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake.
Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.
12 I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
Your gates of crystal,
And all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
And great shall be the peace of your children.
14 In righteousness you shall be established;
You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
And from terror, for it shall not come near you.
15 Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not because of Me.
Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake.
16 “Behold, I have created the blacksmith
Who blows the coals in the fire,
Who brings forth an instrument for his work;
And I have created the spoiler to destroy.
17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.
Who blows the coals in the fire,
Who brings forth an instrument for his work;
And I have created the spoiler to destroy.
17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
36 weeks and 2 "false alarms"
We made it to 36 weeks!!! We reached our ultimate goal - I am so thankful to the Lord that He kept our little one safely inside this whole time. It gives me such peace of mind knowing that our son is big enough and strong enough now to come when he decides. Apparently though, he is being a little indecisive on when that time should be....
I stopped all of my medication on Monday and am off bedrest now. Tuesday was my regularly scheduled 36 week appointment, and I woke up that morning having stronger, more regular contractions. They gradually increased throughout the day, and by the time my 2:30 appointment rolled around, they were coming 3-4 minutes apart. My doctor checked me, and I was 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. She said it looks like this is it - go grab a bite to eat, walk around some more, and I'll see you at the hospital this evening! I was soooo excited. Finally it was happening! Little guy had other plans though. By 8:30 that evening, I was still only 2cm, so the nurses sent me home.
The next day (yesterday), the SAME THING happened! Strong, increasingly intense contractions 3-4 minutes apart for two hours, so we headed back up to the hospital. I made it to 3cm, so these are accomplishing something, and I've had some other lovely signs of labor that I'll spare you all the details, but after two hours at the hospital and no further progression, they sent me home again.
It seems that what I'm experiencing is called prodromal labor, which basically is a fancy term for early labor that starts and stops and could go on for days or weeks. It does count for something in preparing your body for active labor, but it doesn't follow the typical pattern that most people think of when they think of labor. One of the L&D nurses (the most wonderful nurse who I am really praying ends up in the room with me when I deliver) explained this term to me. It makes me feel better to know that this is a legitimate process and not just something in my head (as a few of the other nurses have made me feel like I'm dumb and don't know what is really happening with my body...), but it is also a little frustrating knowing that this could drag on for days! I've been contracting even while typing this. My body is tired already and the really hard part hasn't even happened yet!
So, just another thing to add to a pregnancy journey that has been anything but normal. The plus side to all this is that I've had more time to get the nursery together (it's looking just like I always dreamed my nursery to be), and it only needs a few finishing touches of artwork, and I'm waiting on a rug to be delivered. Oh, and we bought a carseat! I know you are all pleased to hear that. I will be so happy when I finally get to hold my baby in my arms. I know it will all be worth it - let's just get this show on the road already! :)
I stopped all of my medication on Monday and am off bedrest now. Tuesday was my regularly scheduled 36 week appointment, and I woke up that morning having stronger, more regular contractions. They gradually increased throughout the day, and by the time my 2:30 appointment rolled around, they were coming 3-4 minutes apart. My doctor checked me, and I was 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. She said it looks like this is it - go grab a bite to eat, walk around some more, and I'll see you at the hospital this evening! I was soooo excited. Finally it was happening! Little guy had other plans though. By 8:30 that evening, I was still only 2cm, so the nurses sent me home.
The next day (yesterday), the SAME THING happened! Strong, increasingly intense contractions 3-4 minutes apart for two hours, so we headed back up to the hospital. I made it to 3cm, so these are accomplishing something, and I've had some other lovely signs of labor that I'll spare you all the details, but after two hours at the hospital and no further progression, they sent me home again.
It seems that what I'm experiencing is called prodromal labor, which basically is a fancy term for early labor that starts and stops and could go on for days or weeks. It does count for something in preparing your body for active labor, but it doesn't follow the typical pattern that most people think of when they think of labor. One of the L&D nurses (the most wonderful nurse who I am really praying ends up in the room with me when I deliver) explained this term to me. It makes me feel better to know that this is a legitimate process and not just something in my head (as a few of the other nurses have made me feel like I'm dumb and don't know what is really happening with my body...), but it is also a little frustrating knowing that this could drag on for days! I've been contracting even while typing this. My body is tired already and the really hard part hasn't even happened yet!
So, just another thing to add to a pregnancy journey that has been anything but normal. The plus side to all this is that I've had more time to get the nursery together (it's looking just like I always dreamed my nursery to be), and it only needs a few finishing touches of artwork, and I'm waiting on a rug to be delivered. Oh, and we bought a carseat! I know you are all pleased to hear that. I will be so happy when I finally get to hold my baby in my arms. I know it will all be worth it - let's just get this show on the road already! :)
Thursday, September 12, 2013
35 weeks!
Apparently I've been a little too quiet for some people's liking, so I thought I'd drop in a quick update for everyone. :) I've been home for a week now, which is a thousand times better than being in the hospital, but it's still bedrest! The days are long and boring, and it's reeeeeally difficult not to putter around the house and take care of all the chores that I see undone. Seth has reprimanded me more than a few times for being too active! I'm trying to be good though, because we need to make it one more week to truly be in the safe zone. I saw my doctor on Tuesday and she said once I hit 36 weeks I can discontinue all my medications (I'm currently taking 3 different oral meds, 6 times throughout the day and night to keep the contractions at bay). Then we'll just let nature take its course! I'm anxious to see what my body does once I stop the meds, because even on them I still get some pretty intense contractions that sometimes go on for hours. Hopefully that means the little guy will come quickly and easily once we give him the ok! Although I have a feeling I'm going to be that person who went into preterm labor and then ends up going past her due date......let's hope not!! But we should probably buy a carseat now don't you think?? :)
Monday, August 26, 2013
Day 19
This last week started out pretty crazy to say the least. We seriously thought we were going to have a baby last Monday. I woke up at 6am with contractions that got progressively worse, to the point where I was in tears and they were coming two minutes apart. I ended up getting three shots of terbutaline that really only slowed them but didn't stop them, so by 12:30 they were transferring me to labor and delivery to go on a magnesium drip. Let me just say that I do not recommend these. I know it was necessary, but it has the MOST miserable side effects! They did a 24 hour drip, so I pretty much felt like I had a serious case of the flu during those 24 hours. I had hot flashes, my whole body ached, and no energy to the point where I couldn't even lift my water bottle to take a drink. I think that is the most sick I've ever been in my entire life.
So that lasted until 2pm Tuesday, and what is amazing is that as soon as they turned off the magnesium, I felt almost back to normal within an hour! It was crazy how fast it wore off. The whole goal of the mag drip is to "wash" my system out so that the contractions will slow down and so that I will respond better to the terbutaline after,?l because the body can build up a tolerance to where that isn't as effective.
The next few days were pretty quiet, just an occasional terb shot, but then Saturday things picked up again and I had to go back on the mag drip. For 30 hours this time. It was terrible. I really, really hope and pray that I don't have to do that again, because I honestly don't know if I have it in me to endure another round. It is so taxing physically and emotionally.
Despite all the crazy contractions, the great news is that my cervix has held pretty steady throughout the whole ordeal. It's at 1.6cm as of this morning, and the baby's estimated weight is 4lb 14oz, so he is a really good size for how far along I am. That is so reassuring to me, that if he were to come early, that he already has a little head start on weight! The doctor said this morning that if the cervix
continues to be stable, that she will let me go home at 34 weeks. Still on bedrest, but at least I would be in my own place, getting to eat my own food, hanging out with my dogs, sleeping in my own bed and not getting woken up for meds all hours of the night!
So that's where we are. Potentially only 8-9 more days of this, unless the little guy decides to make an
appearance :) I'll update again soon - wifi is pretty wonky at the hospital so that's been part of the
delay in posts. Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement - it definitely helps!
The next few days were pretty quiet, just an occasional terb shot, but then Saturday things picked up again and I had to go back on the mag drip. For 30 hours this time. It was terrible. I really, really hope and pray that I don't have to do that again, because I honestly don't know if I have it in me to endure another round. It is so taxing physically and emotionally.
Despite all the crazy contractions, the great news is that my cervix has held pretty steady throughout the whole ordeal. It's at 1.6cm as of this morning, and the baby's estimated weight is 4lb 14oz, so he is a really good size for how far along I am. That is so reassuring to me, that if he were to come early, that he already has a little head start on weight! The doctor said this morning that if the cervix
continues to be stable, that she will let me go home at 34 weeks. Still on bedrest, but at least I would be in my own place, getting to eat my own food, hanging out with my dogs, sleeping in my own bed and not getting woken up for meds all hours of the night!
So that's where we are. Potentially only 8-9 more days of this, unless the little guy decides to make an
appearance :) I'll update again soon - wifi is pretty wonky at the hospital so that's been part of the
delay in posts. Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement - it definitely helps!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Day 6
We're starting to get settled in to the hospital life routine. I honestly can't complain about anything - I've received excellent care and every person that I've met here has been just wonderful. Antepartum is a different world than the regular floor - they pretty much just leave me alone unless I need them for anything. The contractions are continuing, and today my doctor changed the parameters for getting a shot. The on call doctor this weekend had ordered that if I have 8 contractions in an hour that I should get one, but my regular OB said 4 in an hour whether they see it on the monitor or not that I need a shot. My cervix is continuing to shorten - yesterday it was down to 1.5cm, so we don't really have a lot of wiggle room to just contract all day. So this morning I got a shot at 11:30 and that helped - things have been pretty quiet since then. (ha - as I type that, I just had two contractions in seven minutes. We'll see how that goes!)
I am thankful to be where we are, thankful that our little one is staying put for now. I am 31 weeks tomorrow, and our main goal is to make it to 34 weeks. Any time past that will be icing on the cake. Please also pray for my friend Jennifer who has gone into preterm labor with her twin boys at 27 weeks. She needs it more than I do right now.
I am thankful to be where we are, thankful that our little one is staying put for now. I am 31 weeks tomorrow, and our main goal is to make it to 34 weeks. Any time past that will be icing on the cake. Please also pray for my friend Jennifer who has gone into preterm labor with her twin boys at 27 weeks. She needs it more than I do right now.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Baylor Summer Vacay
Since no one really wants to talk about their cervix directly on facebook, I figured I'd leave all the fun details to the ole' blog. I'll start with yesterday afternoon.
I started having pretty regular contractions at work yesterday around 1:45 (this was after only doing deskwork), which continued to get more intense and closer together, so I laid down on one of the stretchers to see if that would help. They were soon 3-5 minutes apart, and at 3:45 my very sweet friend Mindy drove me up to the hospital and my mom met me there. Seth arrived soon after.
Sure enough, it wasn't all in my head and those contractions were the real deal! I was given a shot of terbutaline to slow them down (which has the not-so-fun side effects of anxiety, feeling jittery, and feeling like your heart is going to beat out of your chest), and also a shot of steroid to help the baby's lungs develop should anything happen. Overnight they just monitored me and gave me extra IV fluids, and this morning I required another shot to slow contractions. The specialist arrived about 9ish and did a sonogram to check the length of my cervix. (backtrack to Tuesday....my regular OB was concerned that the cervix was a little on the short side at 2.7cm. She wanted it above 3). So when he checked it today, it had shortened even more to 2.2cm. Without a second breath, he said I will be in the hospital on bedrest for at least 2-4 weeks. Closer to the 4 week mark being more realistic. And possibly longer. He wants me to be 36 weeks before he is comfortable with me delivering.
Soooo, yeah. It's a bit of a shocker.
They will check the length again on Monday, and I'm not sure how frequently after that. But I'm on another oral med every six hours to relax my uterus (and have a beet red, burning hot face because of that one).
I know I'm exactly where I need to be right now to keep my baby safe, and I know that God is absolutely in control, it's just not how anyone dreams of spending their first pregnancy. I was looking forward to baby showers, and maternity pictures, and putting the finishing touches on the nursery. And taking my maternity leave after he's born, not before. I won't get to see my puppies for who knows how long, and those who really know me know that the beagle and I are a little codependent. So I'm a little sad to be honest. But at the same time, thankful to have such a supportive husband and family to help me through this.
I started having pretty regular contractions at work yesterday around 1:45 (this was after only doing deskwork), which continued to get more intense and closer together, so I laid down on one of the stretchers to see if that would help. They were soon 3-5 minutes apart, and at 3:45 my very sweet friend Mindy drove me up to the hospital and my mom met me there. Seth arrived soon after.
Sure enough, it wasn't all in my head and those contractions were the real deal! I was given a shot of terbutaline to slow them down (which has the not-so-fun side effects of anxiety, feeling jittery, and feeling like your heart is going to beat out of your chest), and also a shot of steroid to help the baby's lungs develop should anything happen. Overnight they just monitored me and gave me extra IV fluids, and this morning I required another shot to slow contractions. The specialist arrived about 9ish and did a sonogram to check the length of my cervix. (backtrack to Tuesday....my regular OB was concerned that the cervix was a little on the short side at 2.7cm. She wanted it above 3). So when he checked it today, it had shortened even more to 2.2cm. Without a second breath, he said I will be in the hospital on bedrest for at least 2-4 weeks. Closer to the 4 week mark being more realistic. And possibly longer. He wants me to be 36 weeks before he is comfortable with me delivering.
Soooo, yeah. It's a bit of a shocker.
They will check the length again on Monday, and I'm not sure how frequently after that. But I'm on another oral med every six hours to relax my uterus (and have a beet red, burning hot face because of that one).
I know I'm exactly where I need to be right now to keep my baby safe, and I know that God is absolutely in control, it's just not how anyone dreams of spending their first pregnancy. I was looking forward to baby showers, and maternity pictures, and putting the finishing touches on the nursery. And taking my maternity leave after he's born, not before. I won't get to see my puppies for who knows how long, and those who really know me know that the beagle and I are a little codependent. So I'm a little sad to be honest. But at the same time, thankful to have such a supportive husband and family to help me through this.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
30 weeks!
30 weeks today! I seriously cannot believe it's gone by so quickly...we are on the downhill slope now, and I can't wait to meet our sweet little boy. We have been very productive since my last post! Finally finished the laundry room, which funny enough was one of the first things I wanted to change when we bought our house, but we kind of ran out of motivation after renovating all the other rooms! It was just a facelift really - fresh paint, new shelves, and some much needed additional storage, but it has already made life so much easier. As far as the nursery goes, we still need to put the crib together (seriously need to get a move on that!!), take the glider to be reupholstered, hang curtains, and finish off the little decorative touches. It's all things that can be done in a weekend, just need to actually commit a weekend to it. :)
For the most part I have been feeling good - still have a decent amount of energy, but I have been getting Braxton Hicks contractions on an increasing level. They started at around 26 weeks, and I ended up seeing my doctor for them at 27 weeks. Everything checked out ok at that visit, but since then they've only gotten worse. It all seems to be related to activity (not even strenuous activity - I haven't exercised at all this pregnancy), with the majority of them occurring on busy days at work. Yesterday was my 30 week check up, and my doctor did another full exam and sono this time, and discovered that I am starting to show some shortening and thinning of the cervix. She did a test that is a good indicator of preterm labor, and I should have those results back today or tomorrow, but for now she has restricted my activity - not to the point of bedrest, but to take it as easy as possible. I'm really hoping and praying that I don't have to go on bedrest!! I will do whatever it takes for this little guy to arrive here safe and sound though, and preferably not until October! I have a follow up this Monday to check things again. The good news is that the baby is healthy and active, but please be praying for me that this all slows down. I'll keep you all posted on the results!
For the most part I have been feeling good - still have a decent amount of energy, but I have been getting Braxton Hicks contractions on an increasing level. They started at around 26 weeks, and I ended up seeing my doctor for them at 27 weeks. Everything checked out ok at that visit, but since then they've only gotten worse. It all seems to be related to activity (not even strenuous activity - I haven't exercised at all this pregnancy), with the majority of them occurring on busy days at work. Yesterday was my 30 week check up, and my doctor did another full exam and sono this time, and discovered that I am starting to show some shortening and thinning of the cervix. She did a test that is a good indicator of preterm labor, and I should have those results back today or tomorrow, but for now she has restricted my activity - not to the point of bedrest, but to take it as easy as possible. I'm really hoping and praying that I don't have to go on bedrest!! I will do whatever it takes for this little guy to arrive here safe and sound though, and preferably not until October! I have a follow up this Monday to check things again. The good news is that the baby is healthy and active, but please be praying for me that this all slows down. I'll keep you all posted on the results!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Halfway there!
It seems so surreal to say that. After all the years of trying and praying, to know that in 4 1/2 months we will have a baby in our arms is incredible. Even now, after seeing him several times on the sonograms and having felt him move inside me, I still don't quite believe it.
I know it's been a while since I've posted, but it felt like we just kept having issues come up and I was tired of talking about it honestly. I wanted to wait until I felt like we had a better handle on what the situation was, and also to just feel a little more secure in the safety of this pregnancy. All in all, I've had two weekend ER visits, one emergency doctor visit, and two visits to a perinatologist. I am so thankful to the Lord to say that I haven't had any bleeding in four weeks now, which has been the longest stretch so far without an issue! The doctors were concerned about a short cervix and a low-lying placenta, in addition to the hematoma, but everything seems to be normalizing at this point. We had our 20 week sonogram today, and the little guy is doing just great! I have another visit with the specialist next week, and I am hopeful that he will release me at that point.
So now it's time to finish getting ready! The nursery is about halfway done, but we still have to organize all of our closets to make room for all the junk. And clean out the garage, and I want to redo the laundry room, and the master bedroom, and fix the fence and plant a new flower bed, and try to squeeze in a weekend getaway.....is this list seeming long to anyone else?? :) We better get started!
I know it's been a while since I've posted, but it felt like we just kept having issues come up and I was tired of talking about it honestly. I wanted to wait until I felt like we had a better handle on what the situation was, and also to just feel a little more secure in the safety of this pregnancy. All in all, I've had two weekend ER visits, one emergency doctor visit, and two visits to a perinatologist. I am so thankful to the Lord to say that I haven't had any bleeding in four weeks now, which has been the longest stretch so far without an issue! The doctors were concerned about a short cervix and a low-lying placenta, in addition to the hematoma, but everything seems to be normalizing at this point. We had our 20 week sonogram today, and the little guy is doing just great! I have another visit with the specialist next week, and I am hopeful that he will release me at that point.
So now it's time to finish getting ready! The nursery is about halfway done, but we still have to organize all of our closets to make room for all the junk. And clean out the garage, and I want to redo the laundry room, and the master bedroom, and fix the fence and plant a new flower bed, and try to squeeze in a weekend getaway.....is this list seeming long to anyone else?? :) We better get started!
Monday, March 11, 2013
So much for boring....
Apparently an uneventful pregnancy is not meant for us. Last Tuesday I had my first OB appointment and was all prepared to share how nice it is to go to a "normal" doctor's visit, one that is only happy with no worry involved. Which I'll still elaborate on that in a little bit, but before I had a chance to blog, Friday night we ended up in the ER!
I got home from work Friday about 5:30 and shortly after began bleeding again. But this time it was A LOT. Super scary to say the least, so I immediately called the doctor and spoke with the on-call nurse who told me to go straight to the ER. Seth had to leave work early to come pick up, and we made our way to Baylor Grapevine. I was trying to reassure myself that the doctor told me to expect to bleed again, but the amount this time is really what made me nervous. Fortunately the ER was slow that evening, and we were seen right away by the doctor then straight to an ultrasound. The sonographer prefaced the exam by saying she wasn't allowed to give results, but once the baby showed up on screen, she pointed at it and gave me the thumbs up. Heart rate was strong at 177, and we were soooo relieved to see that little flash of the beat. From there, I had another exam and then the doctor just said she had to review the sono results and we'd be on our way. Both our parents were there, and my in-law's pastor stopped by for a few minutes to pray for me. It was so thoughtful and meant so much to me. While we were waiting, I got a Rhogam shot, and every so often they'd come in to tell me they were still waiting for the sono to be read by the radiologist. FOUR HOURS LATER, the doctor came in with the results - apparently our sono got lost in transmission, like a glitch in the computer system or something - so that's what took so long. She basically just reiterated what we already knew: the bleeding was caused by the hematoma, take it easy, it should all be ok since the heartbeat is so strong.
We finally left about 12:30am, exhausted and starving. My sweet parents stayed the whole time with us, even though I kept telling them to go home and sleep! I've been resting since then, and thankfully my work is closed for construction until next Wednesday, so I'll have plenty of time to relax.
Now back to the happy stuff! I called my OB this morning, and they wanted me to come in right away for the follow-up sonogram. Since Seth was already at work, my mom went with me, and I'm so glad she did. It was sweet to get to see her reaction to the sonogram - we heard the heartbeat again, could visualize the spine and the arm and leg buds (the sonographer said the baby looked like a teddy graham, which was a perfect description!), and we even got to see the baby move! He (or she) just did a little wiggle right there! It was so adorable. I love all these images I'm getting so early on - only 8 1/2 weeks along and I've already had four sonos :) The nurse practitioner again told me just to rest as much as possible, but that these hematomas really don't have an effect on the outcome of the pregnancy. Oh, I forgot to mention, the hematoma was smaller today than it was last week! Praise the Lord! Hopefully it just continues to shrink without causing anymore freak-out sessions :)
That's about it for now (which I think is quite enough for one week's time). I have another appointment in three weeks, so here's hoping nothing happens between now and then!
I got home from work Friday about 5:30 and shortly after began bleeding again. But this time it was A LOT. Super scary to say the least, so I immediately called the doctor and spoke with the on-call nurse who told me to go straight to the ER. Seth had to leave work early to come pick up, and we made our way to Baylor Grapevine. I was trying to reassure myself that the doctor told me to expect to bleed again, but the amount this time is really what made me nervous. Fortunately the ER was slow that evening, and we were seen right away by the doctor then straight to an ultrasound. The sonographer prefaced the exam by saying she wasn't allowed to give results, but once the baby showed up on screen, she pointed at it and gave me the thumbs up. Heart rate was strong at 177, and we were soooo relieved to see that little flash of the beat. From there, I had another exam and then the doctor just said she had to review the sono results and we'd be on our way. Both our parents were there, and my in-law's pastor stopped by for a few minutes to pray for me. It was so thoughtful and meant so much to me. While we were waiting, I got a Rhogam shot, and every so often they'd come in to tell me they were still waiting for the sono to be read by the radiologist. FOUR HOURS LATER, the doctor came in with the results - apparently our sono got lost in transmission, like a glitch in the computer system or something - so that's what took so long. She basically just reiterated what we already knew: the bleeding was caused by the hematoma, take it easy, it should all be ok since the heartbeat is so strong.
We finally left about 12:30am, exhausted and starving. My sweet parents stayed the whole time with us, even though I kept telling them to go home and sleep! I've been resting since then, and thankfully my work is closed for construction until next Wednesday, so I'll have plenty of time to relax.
Now back to the happy stuff! I called my OB this morning, and they wanted me to come in right away for the follow-up sonogram. Since Seth was already at work, my mom went with me, and I'm so glad she did. It was sweet to get to see her reaction to the sonogram - we heard the heartbeat again, could visualize the spine and the arm and leg buds (the sonographer said the baby looked like a teddy graham, which was a perfect description!), and we even got to see the baby move! He (or she) just did a little wiggle right there! It was so adorable. I love all these images I'm getting so early on - only 8 1/2 weeks along and I've already had four sonos :) The nurse practitioner again told me just to rest as much as possible, but that these hematomas really don't have an effect on the outcome of the pregnancy. Oh, I forgot to mention, the hematoma was smaller today than it was last week! Praise the Lord! Hopefully it just continues to shrink without causing anymore freak-out sessions :)
That's about it for now (which I think is quite enough for one week's time). I have another appointment in three weeks, so here's hoping nothing happens between now and then!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
First sonogram
Disclaimer : this post gets a little graphic (not too bad - really just a warning for the guys!)
The past few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions. It began Friday night, when around 7 o'clock I had some lower abdominal cramping that really concerned me. Seth tried to reassure me it was nothing, but I knew it did not feel right. Then about 9:30 when I went to use the restroom, I discovered that I was bleeding. Not a whole lot, but it was red and that terrified me. Poor Seth had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up to the sounds of me sobbing from the bathroom. I just knew I was having a miscarriage, and all I could think was that I cannot handle this!! After all we've been through, I do not have any strength left to endure that. I immediately called the doctor, who advised me to increase my progesterone dosage (yes, the daily shots continue!), drink lots of fluids and rest as much as possible. He told me to try not to worry - which, by the way, is IMPOSSIBLE - but to go to the ER if anymore bleeding occurred. My sono was scheduled for Tuesday, so he said we just need to make it till then.
Needless to say, I was a complete emotional wreck the next three days. I have never been so worried in my entire life. No amount of encouraging words or similar anecdotes could console me - I knew I would not feel better until the sonogram, and I also knew I couldn't wait until Tuesday for it. Thankfully, I didn't have anymore incidences over the weekend, and first thing Monday morning I called the clinic to get me in that day.
During the sonogram, we discovered we have one healthy baby all snuggled in. The heartbeat was strong at 125 (at six weeks they want it to be above 80 - I was 6wks 4days at that visit). It was such a relief to see that heartbeat!! I thought tears would come at that point, but they didn't - I think I was just in shock that it was all ok. The sonographer also discovered that I have a subchorionic hematoma, which is what caused the bleeding Friday night. This comes with increased risk, but usually it is not a problem and heals by first trimester end. I do have to be extra cautious though - absolutely no lifting, no strenuous activity whatsoever, and rest as much as possible. So the couch times continue!
After the sonogram, when Seth and I were alone in a room waiting for the doctor, is when I broke down. All the stress of the weekend came out at once, and I just sobbed. Tears of joy, relief, worry, of every possible emotion really, just poured out. I am glad that we had that little bit of time before the doctor came in. When he did finally walk in, the first thing he said was that I scared him Friday night! We laughed then and agreed that it was a terrifying experience. He congratulated us, we thanked him for not giving up on us when things were looking grim, and then he admitted that he got a lot of heat from the partners in his practice for not canceling my IVF cycle. But then he held up my chart and said "We did it!!"
The whole situation still feels surreal - it's still weird to say that I'm pregnant - it still kind of hurts to talk about the baby, like it doesn't feel safe yet - even though the nausea is REALLY starting to kick in. (That's not a fun thing at all, but I am thankful for it!) I have graduated from the specialist and have my first OB appointment next week. April 4 will be 12 weeks, so now we just have to make it till then. Baby steps to second trimester!
The past few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions. It began Friday night, when around 7 o'clock I had some lower abdominal cramping that really concerned me. Seth tried to reassure me it was nothing, but I knew it did not feel right. Then about 9:30 when I went to use the restroom, I discovered that I was bleeding. Not a whole lot, but it was red and that terrified me. Poor Seth had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up to the sounds of me sobbing from the bathroom. I just knew I was having a miscarriage, and all I could think was that I cannot handle this!! After all we've been through, I do not have any strength left to endure that. I immediately called the doctor, who advised me to increase my progesterone dosage (yes, the daily shots continue!), drink lots of fluids and rest as much as possible. He told me to try not to worry - which, by the way, is IMPOSSIBLE - but to go to the ER if anymore bleeding occurred. My sono was scheduled for Tuesday, so he said we just need to make it till then.
Needless to say, I was a complete emotional wreck the next three days. I have never been so worried in my entire life. No amount of encouraging words or similar anecdotes could console me - I knew I would not feel better until the sonogram, and I also knew I couldn't wait until Tuesday for it. Thankfully, I didn't have anymore incidences over the weekend, and first thing Monday morning I called the clinic to get me in that day.
During the sonogram, we discovered we have one healthy baby all snuggled in. The heartbeat was strong at 125 (at six weeks they want it to be above 80 - I was 6wks 4days at that visit). It was such a relief to see that heartbeat!! I thought tears would come at that point, but they didn't - I think I was just in shock that it was all ok. The sonographer also discovered that I have a subchorionic hematoma, which is what caused the bleeding Friday night. This comes with increased risk, but usually it is not a problem and heals by first trimester end. I do have to be extra cautious though - absolutely no lifting, no strenuous activity whatsoever, and rest as much as possible. So the couch times continue!
After the sonogram, when Seth and I were alone in a room waiting for the doctor, is when I broke down. All the stress of the weekend came out at once, and I just sobbed. Tears of joy, relief, worry, of every possible emotion really, just poured out. I am glad that we had that little bit of time before the doctor came in. When he did finally walk in, the first thing he said was that I scared him Friday night! We laughed then and agreed that it was a terrifying experience. He congratulated us, we thanked him for not giving up on us when things were looking grim, and then he admitted that he got a lot of heat from the partners in his practice for not canceling my IVF cycle. But then he held up my chart and said "We did it!!"
The whole situation still feels surreal - it's still weird to say that I'm pregnant - it still kind of hurts to talk about the baby, like it doesn't feel safe yet - even though the nausea is REALLY starting to kick in. (That's not a fun thing at all, but I am thankful for it!) I have graduated from the specialist and have my first OB appointment next week. April 4 will be 12 weeks, so now we just have to make it till then. Baby steps to second trimester!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
In case you were wondering...
My test was positive. It seems very surreal to me - after trying for four years it's not something that I was expecting to hear. I found out at work and just immediately broke down sobbing in the storage closet. Then I took a pregnancy test (a perk of working at a surgery center - free pregnancy tests!) just to make sure I had heard the nurse correctly. Sure enough, two pink lines appeared. I had stayed tough and did not test at all at home before the bloodwork was done, so this was the first time I'd ever seen two lines. It was crazy.
That was a Thursday, so I had to wait until Monday to do a repeat test to make sure my levels were rising properly. (And yes, I took 3 more tests at home over the weekend!) If everything is going well, the beta HCG should double every two days. My first level was 101, so by Monday it should have been at least 404. It came back at 639!! Such a huge relief! Now I will have my first sonogram in a couple of weeks to find out how many are in there, then be released to a regular OB. I honestly still can't believe that it's true. It feels very strange to say that I am pregnant.
Seth is just as excited as I am (even though his first response when I told him it was positive was "weird" - haha!), but he is much better at staying calm and just taking things one step at a time. I, on the other hand, am reading every possible piece of information I can get my hands on and trying not to stress out about things that could go wrong. We realize that it is very early on to be sharing news like this, but our circumstance is not the norm, and you all have been so supportive that we didn't want to keep you hanging any longer. We are choosing to celebrate and praise God for every milestone, and this is a pretty huge milestone. God has been more than faithful throughout this process, and there is no doubt in my mind that this is a literal miracle and that all the glory goes to Him. The doctor advised me to cancel this IVF cycle three times, but I felt like God was telling me to keep going, that He was in control of the situation, and sure enough He met our every need. I am also so thankful for a doctor who believes in miracles and didn't give up on me.
Please continue to pray that this would be a healthy pregnancy, especially since I am just 5 weeks right now, that we would make it through the first trimester without any complications. We've crossed the biggest hurdle, but we still have a long way to go. I am believing God for completion of this miracle come October :)
That was a Thursday, so I had to wait until Monday to do a repeat test to make sure my levels were rising properly. (And yes, I took 3 more tests at home over the weekend!) If everything is going well, the beta HCG should double every two days. My first level was 101, so by Monday it should have been at least 404. It came back at 639!! Such a huge relief! Now I will have my first sonogram in a couple of weeks to find out how many are in there, then be released to a regular OB. I honestly still can't believe that it's true. It feels very strange to say that I am pregnant.
Seth is just as excited as I am (even though his first response when I told him it was positive was "weird" - haha!), but he is much better at staying calm and just taking things one step at a time. I, on the other hand, am reading every possible piece of information I can get my hands on and trying not to stress out about things that could go wrong. We realize that it is very early on to be sharing news like this, but our circumstance is not the norm, and you all have been so supportive that we didn't want to keep you hanging any longer. We are choosing to celebrate and praise God for every milestone, and this is a pretty huge milestone. God has been more than faithful throughout this process, and there is no doubt in my mind that this is a literal miracle and that all the glory goes to Him. The doctor advised me to cancel this IVF cycle three times, but I felt like God was telling me to keep going, that He was in control of the situation, and sure enough He met our every need. I am also so thankful for a doctor who believes in miracles and didn't give up on me.
Please continue to pray that this would be a healthy pregnancy, especially since I am just 5 weeks right now, that we would make it through the first trimester without any complications. We've crossed the biggest hurdle, but we still have a long way to go. I am believing God for completion of this miracle come October :)
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
A few thoughts
It's been a whole week now since the transfer. I've done a lot of movie watching, made it midway through season two of Downton Abbey (oh my GOSH so much is happening!), and started New Girl. Don't know why I never watched that before - it's so hilarious! Plus I secretly (well, not so secretly now) wish I was as cute as Zooey Deschanel. I'm not near that quirky though ;) What else have I done??? Oh - a LOT of eating. Since wine is off limits at this point, it seems that nonstop noshing is the second best way to cope with stress.
We find out in two days if it worked or not. It's nerve-wracking going from having updates every day or every other day, to having to wait 9 days to find anything out. I'm telling myself now I only have one more morning to wake up before the big day is here. I have one favor to ask of everyone though - please understand the magnitude of the situation and do not ask us what the results are. Whether the news is good or bad, we want to be able to share it in our own way and our own time. In a normal pregnancy, all of Facebook wouldn't know the first week, so we kinda would like to maintain as much normalcy as possible in making the announcement to family and friends. I'm sure you all understand.
Again, thanks for all the support and encouragement - I'll be talking to you soon!
We find out in two days if it worked or not. It's nerve-wracking going from having updates every day or every other day, to having to wait 9 days to find anything out. I'm telling myself now I only have one more morning to wake up before the big day is here. I have one favor to ask of everyone though - please understand the magnitude of the situation and do not ask us what the results are. Whether the news is good or bad, we want to be able to share it in our own way and our own time. In a normal pregnancy, all of Facebook wouldn't know the first week, so we kinda would like to maintain as much normalcy as possible in making the announcement to family and friends. I'm sure you all understand.
Again, thanks for all the support and encouragement - I'll be talking to you soon!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Just a quick update
The embryologist called with the report - the two poor quality embryos stopped developing altogether, and one of the two remaining average quality made it through the freeze, and she says it looks perfect! So we have one little guy waiting for us if we need him. Good news!!
The couch is good too.....I finished the first season of Downton Abbey and I'm hooked.
So now the real waiting begins!! Praying for patience :)
The couch is good too.....I finished the first season of Downton Abbey and I'm hooked.
So now the real waiting begins!! Praying for patience :)
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Stick little embryos!
Overall, today has been a really good day. For once, we didn't have to be in Frisco at the crack of dawn, so we slept in till 8, did a little housework, made some carrot cake breakfast cookies to have throughout the week, and ate breakfast together. I actually cooked a lot of food last night so Seth would have options to easily throw together while I'm temporarily incapacitated.
I had to check in at 11:45 with a full bladder, which meant that I was lucky enough to get to chug 32 ounces of water in the span of 20 minutes. I think I would rather be NPO for 8 hours than have to drink that much in so little time! I was nauseous by the time we got there, but thankfully we had enough distractions for that feeling to get pushed to the wayside. The nurse had me take a Valium once I got changed into a gown. I've never taken that before, but honestly I didn't feel any of the effects of it till we got home and fell asleep! But that is fine - the point is to be as relaxed as possible today so I guess it's working!
The embryologist came in and talked to us about the health of our embyros. She gave us a picture of the two they were going to put in (and yes, they are hanging on our fridge now. I'm not smart enough to figure out how to upload them to the blog or else I would show you.) It was really great to hear her explanation of all the cells and what each one would eventually develop into. She said they look very healthy!
After all that, I was dying to use the bathroom. The nurse said if I really felt like I couldn't hold it anymore, I could pee into a little cup but no more than that. I was scared that I would mess things up if I peed too much, so I only did half a cup. That was a bad idea!! As soon as I got back into bed I had to go even worse!! I tried to hold it longer, but eventually I had Seth ask if it was ok for me to go again. The sonographer (who has been absolutely wonderful throughout last 3 weeks) laughed at me and told me to pee a whole cup this time. I felt MUCH better after that. (Keep in mind that it had been an hour and a half since I drank all that water - I was hurting!!!)
The doctor came in right after that, reiterated what the embryologist had said about the quality of the embryos, and expressed his amazement that we made it to transfer. From that point on things moved very quickly. Seth, decked out in a hospital gown, bouffant hat, mask, and shoe covers, was allowed to go back to the procedure room to hold my hand during the process. It was ultrasound guided, and they had a screen that we could see every move the doctor made. We were able to see the catheter, and then a little flash when he dropped off the embryos - it was pretty cool! The embryologist then checked the catheter under a microscope to make sure both embryos had been deposited, gave the ok, and everyone cheered! The doctor didn't want me to move at all after that, so he and Seth pulled me back up in the bed, and we went to recovery. I had to lay flat for ten minutes before I was allowed to use the bathroom. Let me just say that was the best pee of my life. Ha! After another 30 minutes of laying flat, we were free to go!
Seth is taking great care of me. He has been so amazingly supportive and encouraging and even-keeled during all this, which has really helped to keep me grounded. Now the bedrest continues tomorrow and Thursday, then back to work on Friday. We are praying and so hopeful that these little guys (or girls!) are extra sticky and attach to the uterine wall. We'll do a blood test in 8 days to see if it worked. I've already decided that I will not do an at-home pregnancy test before then because I think that would be even more torture! No matter what the outcome is, God is in control and knows what's best. We have learned a lot, both spiritually and medically, during this round that it will be positive experience no matter what.
Everyone's support today has been overwhelming. I can't say thank you enough! I'll be back tomorrow to give the report of the remaining embryos.
I had to check in at 11:45 with a full bladder, which meant that I was lucky enough to get to chug 32 ounces of water in the span of 20 minutes. I think I would rather be NPO for 8 hours than have to drink that much in so little time! I was nauseous by the time we got there, but thankfully we had enough distractions for that feeling to get pushed to the wayside. The nurse had me take a Valium once I got changed into a gown. I've never taken that before, but honestly I didn't feel any of the effects of it till we got home and fell asleep! But that is fine - the point is to be as relaxed as possible today so I guess it's working!
The embryologist came in and talked to us about the health of our embyros. She gave us a picture of the two they were going to put in (and yes, they are hanging on our fridge now. I'm not smart enough to figure out how to upload them to the blog or else I would show you.) It was really great to hear her explanation of all the cells and what each one would eventually develop into. She said they look very healthy!
After all that, I was dying to use the bathroom. The nurse said if I really felt like I couldn't hold it anymore, I could pee into a little cup but no more than that. I was scared that I would mess things up if I peed too much, so I only did half a cup. That was a bad idea!! As soon as I got back into bed I had to go even worse!! I tried to hold it longer, but eventually I had Seth ask if it was ok for me to go again. The sonographer (who has been absolutely wonderful throughout last 3 weeks) laughed at me and told me to pee a whole cup this time. I felt MUCH better after that. (Keep in mind that it had been an hour and a half since I drank all that water - I was hurting!!!)
The doctor came in right after that, reiterated what the embryologist had said about the quality of the embryos, and expressed his amazement that we made it to transfer. From that point on things moved very quickly. Seth, decked out in a hospital gown, bouffant hat, mask, and shoe covers, was allowed to go back to the procedure room to hold my hand during the process. It was ultrasound guided, and they had a screen that we could see every move the doctor made. We were able to see the catheter, and then a little flash when he dropped off the embryos - it was pretty cool! The embryologist then checked the catheter under a microscope to make sure both embryos had been deposited, gave the ok, and everyone cheered! The doctor didn't want me to move at all after that, so he and Seth pulled me back up in the bed, and we went to recovery. I had to lay flat for ten minutes before I was allowed to use the bathroom. Let me just say that was the best pee of my life. Ha! After another 30 minutes of laying flat, we were free to go!
Seth is taking great care of me. He has been so amazingly supportive and encouraging and even-keeled during all this, which has really helped to keep me grounded. Now the bedrest continues tomorrow and Thursday, then back to work on Friday. We are praying and so hopeful that these little guys (or girls!) are extra sticky and attach to the uterine wall. We'll do a blood test in 8 days to see if it worked. I've already decided that I will not do an at-home pregnancy test before then because I think that would be even more torture! No matter what the outcome is, God is in control and knows what's best. We have learned a lot, both spiritually and medically, during this round that it will be positive experience no matter what.
Everyone's support today has been overwhelming. I can't say thank you enough! I'll be back tomorrow to give the report of the remaining embryos.
Monday, January 28, 2013
It's actually happening
Tomorrow is the big day! We made it to embryo transfer......I still can't believe it. We should have two good embryos to put in, and God willing they will take!!! I am excited, nervous, don't want to get too excited until I have a positive pregnancy test, etc, but I am so thankful that we even have this opportunity. To have been told it wasn't possible, that the odds are against us, and to be at this point of actually having a real chance is just incredible.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the prayers and encouraging words. They have gotten me through these last couple weeks! I will post about the whole thing tomorrow once I'm home and settled in on the couch.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the prayers and encouraging words. They have gotten me through these last couple weeks! I will post about the whole thing tomorrow once I'm home and settled in on the couch.
Friday, January 25, 2013
I have embryos!
Six of them!! Of the nine eggs retrieved, six fertilized into little tiny embryo babies. I can't believe it. After the doctor called this morning, I was shaking for a good twenty minutes! This is so much better than we were expecting. Now they will watch them grow over the next couple of days and call me on Sunday with a report. I know it is normal for some to drop off and not mature correctly, but I want so badly for them all to make it.
Please keep up the prayers! We need all we can get!
Please keep up the prayers! We need all we can get!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
And now we wait!
I'm home now from egg retrieval and my stomach is full from yummy french toast and a mocha latte. The morning started very early for us - we had to be in Frisco at 7am - and I was starving from the minute I woke up! Seth mom's went with us to the procedure and she's been taking care good care of me since we got home.
On the way to the surgery center I was nervous and a little tearful. Listening to praise and worship music has been one of the major things that has helped me through all of this, so we put on Hillsong and The Village Church's live EP (which is awesome if you haven't heard it yet). When we checked in, all of the nurses were so nice and reassuring - it really is a great group. The whole thing was super quick, only took 20 minutes and then I was in recovery for about an hour. Let me just say I love anesthesia....I'm a little sad that I might not need it anymore after this. Ha! Just kidding....kind of. :)
The great news is that the doctor was able to get nine follicles! They will combine them with the little swimmers today, and by tomorrow afternoon I will get a call from the embryologist to let me know how many fertilized. The general rule is that about half will fertilize, but my brother said that Dr. God is able to make them all fertilize! That would be amazing. I will be happy with anything at this point.
That's all I know for now. Thanks for all the encouragement and prayers.
"Oh look and see our God, and celebrate the power of the cross and the empty grave. And now we're free, let the redeeemed lift up your heads. Oh look and see our God!"
On the way to the surgery center I was nervous and a little tearful. Listening to praise and worship music has been one of the major things that has helped me through all of this, so we put on Hillsong and The Village Church's live EP (which is awesome if you haven't heard it yet). When we checked in, all of the nurses were so nice and reassuring - it really is a great group. The whole thing was super quick, only took 20 minutes and then I was in recovery for about an hour. Let me just say I love anesthesia....I'm a little sad that I might not need it anymore after this. Ha! Just kidding....kind of. :)
The great news is that the doctor was able to get nine follicles! They will combine them with the little swimmers today, and by tomorrow afternoon I will get a call from the embryologist to let me know how many fertilized. The general rule is that about half will fertilize, but my brother said that Dr. God is able to make them all fertilize! That would be amazing. I will be happy with anything at this point.
That's all I know for now. Thanks for all the encouragement and prayers.
"Oh look and see our God, and celebrate the power of the cross and the empty grave. And now we're free, let the redeeemed lift up your heads. Oh look and see our God!"
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
We've pulled the trigger
And there's no going back....not that I want to! The fact that I can even say that is a complete miracle. 13 days ago we started the IVF process, and it has been an uphill battle the entire way. I thought about updating you all earlier on, but it has been so touch and go that I didn't know what to say. The few friends and family that were in on the updates were probably confused by my twice a day texts that would completely contradict each other! But they were so supportive and encouraging each time - I could not have made it through this week without them. All I can say about this is that God has been faithful. Every sonogram I had, we didn't know if I would progress to the next one. I have prayed more, cried more, wrestled with God more in the last week than in my entire life. And He has come through with answered prayer each time we needed it.
To break down the specifics, I needed four good sized follicles for the doctor to proceed with doing an egg retrieval. On Tuesday, if I didn't have those follicles, he would cancel this cycle. By the grace of God my body came through for me, and last night I gave myself a "trigger shot" to prepare for egg retrieval, which will happen tomorrow morning. (I had about six other follicles that weren't quite big enough, but we are praying that they mature as well before tomorrow.) We were so excited to reach that milestone!! Last time around I only had two tiny follicles, so this is a great improvement! I had Seth pull up songs entitled "Trigger" and I was dancing in the kitchen! They were all mostly completely awful songs, but it was such a relief to just be happy for a night after all the stress of the last couple of weeks.
Now we need PRAYER for healthy eggs to be retrieved, to fertilize, and to grow into healthy embryos. If that happens, we will do the embryo transfer next week. I am trying to take it one step at a time, which is literally all we've been able to do so far. I am believing God for a miracle. If not this month, then next month, and if not then, to know and trust that He is good. My brother prayed for me at Christmas that we would see the goodness of the Lord this January, and if not, that we would STILL see the goodness of the Lord. That has been my cry.
I'll give an update tomorrow to let you all know how things went.
To break down the specifics, I needed four good sized follicles for the doctor to proceed with doing an egg retrieval. On Tuesday, if I didn't have those follicles, he would cancel this cycle. By the grace of God my body came through for me, and last night I gave myself a "trigger shot" to prepare for egg retrieval, which will happen tomorrow morning. (I had about six other follicles that weren't quite big enough, but we are praying that they mature as well before tomorrow.) We were so excited to reach that milestone!! Last time around I only had two tiny follicles, so this is a great improvement! I had Seth pull up songs entitled "Trigger" and I was dancing in the kitchen! They were all mostly completely awful songs, but it was such a relief to just be happy for a night after all the stress of the last couple of weeks.
Now we need PRAYER for healthy eggs to be retrieved, to fertilize, and to grow into healthy embryos. If that happens, we will do the embryo transfer next week. I am trying to take it one step at a time, which is literally all we've been able to do so far. I am believing God for a miracle. If not this month, then next month, and if not then, to know and trust that He is good. My brother prayed for me at Christmas that we would see the goodness of the Lord this January, and if not, that we would STILL see the goodness of the Lord. That has been my cry.
I'll give an update tomorrow to let you all know how things went.
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